I've made two posts (one post and two half-posts) and already six people have e-mailed me to argue about what I should be posting here. Scott suggested that a good use for this blog would be to post links to other blogs and then post several lines about what's wrong with them. We could start with this comedian (no, really)

http://www.livejournal.com/users/jayblackcomedy

whose primary flaw seems to be that he has already posted a link to my blog. (Poor judgment.)

Or this wacky lady

http://cheeseandmonkeys.blogspot.com

who has made only one post and it has nothing whatsoever to do with cheese or monkeys but everything to do with Wilson-Phillips. Wilson-Phillips?! WTF? (False advertising.)

I spent this past year writing a book, which is only slightly less mentally masturbatory than maintaining a blog. It's all about ME!ME!ME! so I can safely say that if you're me or exactly like me you'll find it interesting. For similar reasons I can safely say that if you're me or exactly like me (or if you're one of my stalkers or someone with a predilection for chronically overeducated and underemployed cognitive scientists), you'll like this blog. If you're not, at least there will be limericks. If you are my boyfriend Chris, my sister Meredith or one of myriad other people near and dear to me, I can safely say that you're unlikely to read either. (If you are my sister Noelle, you are six years old and I gotta give you props for getting through so many big words.)

Here are some things you should know about me:

1. I WANT TO GET MARRIED, NOW! Really, I do.

2. I DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED, EVER! Really, I don't.

3. I WANT TO HAVE KIDS, NOTNOWBUTINAFEWYEARS! Really, I mean this one.

4. I DON'T WANT TO HAVE KIDS, EVER! I've been thinking lately how lactation is kind of gross. Milk makes me want to vomit.

5. I AM OBSESSIVE ABOUT SCRABBLE! It's kind of annoying to play against me. I can see that.

6. I AM OBSESSIVE ABOUT RUNNING! Also, bread, football, and cute math or physics dorks. Possibly also my feet. I kind of have a fetish about my own feet, although I agree with you that everyone else's feet are gross. Other obsessions include: my red and blue blanket; random Polynesian languages; picking fights with my parents when the Republican administration does something to piss me off, which is a productive use of my energy; semicolons; and Obsession, by Calvin Klein.

7. I AM NOT OBSESSIVE ABOUT ANYTHING! I am really pretty laid-back.

8. (7) IS A LIE!

9. OR IS IT?

My car battery is mysteriously dead. It is mysterious because as far as I can tell it should not be dead. This isn't the good kind of mystery.

In other news, I have changed the comments section so that you can now post comments anonymously. BUT I'LL KNOW WHO YOU ARE. Not because anyone will tell me but because I'm just that kind of girl.