Saturday, August 27, 2005

The one habit of people who get their way.

Some people are just good at getting their way. I've been thinking lately about what makes such a person. There are a few different approaches that you can take: you can be charming and persuasive, you can be stubborn and aggressive, you can be correct in disagreements so much of the time that people generally think you are even when you're not. You can have a track record of getting your way. Probably several other approaches too. And I've seen all of these styles work for people.

What I'm thinking about, though, is what happens when two people tangle who are each accustomed to getting their way. In most cases the approach that's going to work best varies with the personalities involved and the degree to which the issue matters, but I wonder: what makes people who win all the time -- even against other people who win all the rest of the time -- successful? Is there some approach that they tend to choose over all the others that can be effective? Is there a pattern? Not to go all self-help blog style on you, but I wonder.

I've been trying to pay attention to these situations where they arise, socially and especially at work, to see what generalizations I can draw from them.


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