Label it, ship it, send it to me.
So most people that I meet socially I meet because they're friends of friends, which means that they come sort of pre-vetted, which means that there's a better than average chance that I'm going to have something in common with them. So even if we don't immediately click and become fast friends forever, most people that I meet socially I basically like.
Occasionally I meet people that I click with pretty fast beyond just sort of basically liking them. One reason I'm sad Jake and Kara are moving is that they're both people I clicked with more quickly than usual -- in totally different ways -- which is really pretty rare for people that come in a couple.
So here's the thing: rarely is it that I meet someone socially that I actually dislike, but once in a while it happens.
And here's where I can tell that I've lived in Seattle for a while now: I don't really meet people neutrally anymore. Everyone comes with a social context. It's postmodernism gone wild! (Most. Tedious. Party. Ever. That's another post.) And so when I meet people, at this point it's kind of like it was in Philly. I already know if/that I'm supposed to like them. In Philadelphia that made sense, because I lived there for years and years. Here's it's a newer experience, and at least in part it happens because I, like most everyone I guess, try really hard to stuff the people I meet into personas based on the limited information I have to begin with. Putting people into boxes before deciding who's worth the effort of going through and unpacking. It's easier to deal with categories. The taxonomy of friends, and friends of friends.
So then what do you do when every social force dictates that you've put someone in the wrong box? Which is another way of asking: what do you do when you really dislike someone you meet socially?
Is it better to be harmonious or to be correct?
Let's be honest: what I really need is to have Cassie or tvdetective or Atissa or heathalouise around to totally validate my impressions.