Thursday, October 06, 2005


I come across differently than I mean to.

You know how it is -- or maybe you don't, but indulge me -- when you go to a new place or a new group of people and you think, yes, this is it, this is where I change all things I've always wanted to change. You think, new is something that is really new.

And then it's a few weeks/months/years later and you think, nothing is ever really that new.

At heart I'm still the same as I was when I was thirteen. I'm starting to look old(er) and I know more stuff now. I dress marginally better and I behave less shyly. But when you peel back that stuff to my very essence, I still don't know how to say what my very essence is except that it's the same now as it was then.

There's something solidly reassuring about that and something depressing. Oh, the places you'll go! Like the house down the street.


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